rigtigt

Sofro minha enésima internação: tempo de ter tempo forçado. Sempre o procuro, mas onde encontrar quando se precisa de dinheiro para conseguir o direito de viver no seu ritmo. Joguei fora muito da existência acreditando numa salvação divina puramente, pondo fé em que o Arquiteto, em sua magistral engenharia, enxergaria que minha obra mereceria sua atenção. No entanto, quem sou eu diante dEle? Se eu realmente colocar valor em intervenções superiores, precisarei crer em que havia a necessidade de que algo meu - por razão extrapolante ao meu olhar - fosse lançado ao fogo. Isso não traz conforto qualquer; pelo contrário, provoca tristeza e amarguras tais que nada ou quase nada durante esses sentimentos daria alento ao simples bater do coração ou faria sentido. Ora, em que base numérica nasci para infortúnio igual? Sem a crença em um Ente maior, sou um vazio total de ideal e de vontade de seguir vivo. E isso porque, postulante de algo que tento ser com frequência, chego a pensar que não vale...

Someday I've dreamt about walking alongside a place I've never been to but twice I got there in my dreams. Should I face the truth that I've been looking for someone there I probably have no Idea who is she? My face turned to her and It was quite nice being so welcome by her like we've always seen each other. I felt her arms holding me tight and her skin so soft lovely touching my body as she wanted me to stay with her for the eternity. I was her soulmate.

Die another way. O used to consider dying as a way of liberty. Pleasure is a way dying, dying from the desperate living, from all things have turned me less selfconscient.

Once you know your own limitations, you get further. 

Where shall I find happiness? Soul has been a hard spelling word since I've given up to fight for any worthy prize... Even nowadays I cannot believe I transformed her into a reason to stay kidnapped for her life satisfaction. Looking backwards there are many reasons not to have driven this longe way from me road. She's not guilty: so am I. My hjerte claims for lyv. 

 I believe you. I believe you mean I am a complete stranger nowadays. In fact maybe am I: still living in the same old and sad city, fighting against the same ghosts and trying not dreaming that lyv I was born to live there abroad. Fake as being an irrelevant daydreamer on his own stupid way living. I hide myself on my acceptance to a fatal fate I had the strength to dare stolen... Even daring the huge tendence to self destruction.